Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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