I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
