He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize