ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
