No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
