You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize