we're chasing vodka with high fives
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize