bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
