My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
