Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
