Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
