my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
