2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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