i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
