Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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