Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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