This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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