I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
