it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
