she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
