party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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