She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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