its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
