I look better un-naked...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
