If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
