ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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