Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
