WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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