I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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