Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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