Me. At least after what I've been through.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
