sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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