i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
there is glitter all over my balls
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
