did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
vagina is talking i cant
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
