why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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