Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
