I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
