omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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