this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
