Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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