Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
