just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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