Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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