Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
