It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I still have a little drunk in my system
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
