HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
