I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
