apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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