Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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