I wish I only lived at night.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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