How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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