On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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