Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
