i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
