I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
