Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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