If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
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