Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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