My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
