i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
