Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
